August 5, 2007

Parental Privilege

by Melinda Merkley King

Hosea 11:1-11 and Colossians 3:1-11

I helped out with VBS this past week at Cary Presbyterian Church.  I was in charge of a group of 2^nd and 3^rd graders and escorted them to various stations such as recreation, art, bible drama teaching, science discovery and music.  My group was mostly well behaved, a little silly at times but overall respectful and courteous to the teachers and to the other children.  But there was one child who was challenging.  And this one child had the ability to sway some of the others to his side…the dark side… In music, for example, on day one he sat down and refused to sing or participate at all.  I tried joking with him, asking if he was too cool to dance…  The next day when he again plopped down in music, I pleaded with him, please just stand up and lip sync.  He actually lay down then.   Day three the two young women leading music tried… to no avail and this time 2 more boys did not participate.  I used a somewhat harsher tone on day 4, hoping my judgment might help.  Nope!  And then, for Day 5, I resorted to that which parents have as last resort… bribery… I told the group that I had a participation prize for them-- If they would participate in every session, they would get a piece of candy at the end.  I was sure that would do the trick.  Kids can never get enough sugar.  But what did that stinker do in music?  He sat himself right down and told me “it wasn’t worth it!”    All the other kids earned their bribe, I mean prize.  J  As closing assembly neared, I started to fret a little.  Would it be mean for me not to give him chocolate?  Should I care so much…or demand so much… after all, this wasn’t real school, it was just VBS.  And maybe he had some medical issue I wasn’t aware of, an eyesight problem or attention deficit disorder or something…  I wondered if I should err on the side of grace and just give the candy to him too.  Or, should I keep my word and do as I said I would… no participation, no chocolate.  I just wasn’t sure but after closing assembly, he made it easy for me.  He disappeared while I was handing the chocolate out to the others, thus sparing me the agony of choosing.

        Obedience.  The theme is central to the Bible.  But so is the theme of grace.  As we read Bible stories we learn not only of obedience but also of disobedience.  And God’s amazing grace is not contingent upon obedience.  In fact, God’s grace is most amazing when it comes after His children’s disobedience.  “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

        Prior to having children my husband and I adopted a dog from the humane society.  Freckles was our first pet and we wanted to train her up right so we enrolled her in obedience school.  We practiced the lessons faithfully… heal, sit, stay…  and she did pretty well… but when we got to class each week, the excitement of being near other dogs and all those interesting scents was too much… Freckles was the worst in the class.  It was rather embarrassing.  We still loved her, of course, and she did ultimately learn the tricks, but it took lots of work and it was humbling to have her just barely graduate.  As someone who has high expectations of herself and others, this experience with Freckles was good practice…  because children are even more challenging to train up right.  People are not perfect and sometimes people are intentionally sinful. 

        I remember the first time I discovered this in my sweet, little baby boy.  Oliver was about 18 months old, walking around pretty well, getting into whatever was within reach. “Don’t touch the dog food!” I said—several times.  And looking at me with two big old brown eyes, I saw that he had a clear sense of understanding and recognition of what I asked… and then he bent down picked up a piece of dog food and started to put it in his mouth.   His willful disobedience opened a new chapter in parenting for me.  And though he’s only 8 there have been plenty of examples of his finding ways to challenge, manipulate and disobey my commands.  And, I know, more examples will come.   Despite these challenges, I love him and I know that it is my right, my responsibility, and my privilege to teach him, lead him, protect, and help him as he grows up to adulthood...

        Our scripture lessons this morning are interesting contrasts…  an Old Testament scripture which powerfully illustrates God’s love and grace and a New Testament lesson that exhorts and challenges, reminding God’s people of our privilege and responsibility of new life in Christ…. our high calling in which we live as God’s chosen ones. 

One commentator (Dennis Bratcher) has called this passage from Hosea 11, “as concise a summary of God’s ways with human beings as anywhere in Scripture.”  The book of Hosea opens with the metaphor of the prophet’s marriage to an unfaithful wife, Gomer.  Hosea + Gomer is also God & Israel.  Israel as a young wife, after leaving Egypt, was faithful and devoted.  But as Israel is tempted in Canaan to worship other gods, she becomes the unfaithful wife, even a prostitute.    The metaphor switches to parent and child, disobedient child, and the prophet proclaims a message of God’s grace.  It is important to note that Israel is an adopted child.  The parent has chosen the child.   Israel was chosen by God… The Israelites were called by God to remember what God had done for them, to live as his people, and to teach future generations to do the same.  Instead they spurn the love of God and serve the fertility cult of the Canaanites.  Israel is about to be devoured by the Assyrians and yet they put their hope in Ba’al as if a fertility statue of wood or stone has power to help.  This is a people whom God has brought into being because he loved them.  This is a people who owe their existence to God, who have been rescued by God and freed by God and fed by God… but in their stubbornness and rebellion they have chosen their future: Verse 5 reads:  “Will they not return to Egypt and will not Assyria rule over them because they refuse to repent?”

In the year 722 Assyria destroyed Samaria, the capital of the Northern Kingdom of Israel, called Ephraim.  In verse 8 we hear anguish… How can I give you up?  Admah and Zeboiim were cities that were totally destroyed along with Sodom and Gomorrah. God’s compassion is stirred and God’s love for the wayward son, Israel, is stronger than their sin. God’s love transcends justice and law.    In verse 9 we read, “I will not carry out the heat of my anger…  I will not destroy Ephraim.  For I am God and not a man…” we see that God is merciful… in a way that is grounded in holiness.  The passage is disturbing… it gives us the feeling that God is doing something that we would not do if we were in God’s place…  We might find it too easy to follow the letter of the law… for justice’s sake.  God, however, is merciful.   Verses 10 and 11 are hopeful.  They refer to Israel’s future restoration.  God will see his people home.  The Israelites have been scattered and exiled but these experiences are a means to newness.  They are not deserving of another chance but God’s compassion is great… just like the compassion a parent has for a child who has disobeyed and suffered as a consequence.  God refuses to let his people go.          

        Preparing for this sermon, I came across this funny little story from the devotional Our Daily Bread:  “Every conscientious parent recognizes how difficult it is to exercise authority over children. The delicate balance of being tough yet tender is not easy to maintain. Many parents intensify a rebellious spirit by being dictatorial and harsh. Others yield when their authority is tested. When a strong-willed child resists, the pressure to give in for the sake of peace and harmony can become overpowering.  I am reminded of the mother who wanted to have the last word but couldn’t handle the hassle that resulted whenever she said no to her young son. After an especially trying day, she finally flung up her hands and shouted, “All right, Billy, do whatever you want! Now let me see you disobey THAT!”

        In Western theology we have this problem with a dichotomy between grace and law or grace and works.  And theologian Walter Brueggeman points out that the outcome has been a notion of a gospel without demand.  We Christians seem to think that we can do whatever we want.  In an article titled Duty as Delight and Desire, Preaching Obedience that is not Legalism, Brueggeman states how “law” is now easily assigned to the Jews and the Old Testament becomes a book that is superseded by the free gospel of Christ.  He also cites the Enlightenment’s success in “sloughing off any larger authority to which obedience is owed.”  Brueggeman reminds us that the God who loves us and delivers us also summons and commands us. 

        Though as a mother I can relate to being the one who makes the rules (and they are good, fair rules!), though I can relate to being the parent who is in charge, the truth is that I am also the “wayward child.”  I try to bend the rules, forget the rules, do things my own way.  I forget the great and wonderful things the Lord has done for me.  I covet my neighbor’s bigger house, my friend’s husband (who cooks).  I confuse wants and needs and end up worshiping mammon.  I do little or nothing when I know that there are hungry children- not only in far away places in this world but also right here in central NC.  I can be quite good at passing judgment instead of extending mercy.  I won’t go into my entire list of debts or transgressions.  You get the point and I am sure you have your own lists.  Yes, we can be a lot like wayward children. 

The passage from Colossians exhorts us:  do this… don’t do that!  We have a new life in Christ.  But you and I both know that this new life might need to be traded in for something newer and improved.  Our sanctification is hard and sloooooowwww!  My favorite Christian songwriter Sara Groves admits this as she sings:  “The butterfly can just look back/ Flap those wings and say Oh, yeah I never have to be a worm again.  The snake gets tired of being him and wriggles from that itchy skin Leaves it lying where he’s been and moves on/  I’ve been longing for something tangible / some kind of proof that there’s been a change in me….  Feels like I’ve been waking up/ only to fight with the same old stuff/  Change is slow and it fills me with such doubt.  Come on new man where have you been?/ Help me wriggle from this self I’m in/  and leave it like a skin upon the ground.

        How do we go about leaving that old self behind?  Well, being here is a great start! Because here we remember that we are God’s children.  We remember that God is good and merciful and kind… and we remember that God’s authority over us is for our protection and our wellbeing.  We are redirected and motivated to seek first the Kingdom of God.  We confess and are forgiven.  We are fed.

When asked why we should partake of the Lord’s Supper as often as possible, Wesley replied, (paraphrase) because 1. Jesus said - "Do this in remembrance of me and 2. A Second reason why every Christian should do this as often as he can, is, because the benefits of doing it are so great to all that do it in obedience to him; the forgiveness of our past sins and the present strengthening and refreshing of our souls. In this world we are never free from temptations. Whatever way of life we are in, whatever our condition be, whether we are sick or well, in trouble or at ease, the enemies of our souls are watching to lead us into sin. And too often they prevail over us. Now, when we are convinced of having sinned against God, what surer way have we of procuring pardon from him, than the "showing forth the Lord's death;" and beseeching him, for the sake of his Son's sufferings, to blot out all our sins?

3. The grace of God given herein confirms to us the pardon of our sins, by enabling us to leave them. As our bodies are strengthened by bread and wine, so are our souls by these tokens of the body and blood of Christ. This is the food of our souls: This gives strength to perform our duty, and leads us on to perfection. If, therefore, we have any regard for the plain command of Christ, if we desire the pardon of our sins, if we wish for strength to believe, to love and obey God, then we should neglect no opportunity of receiving the Lord's Supper; then we must never turn our backs on the feast which our Lord has prepared for us. 

And in the Westminster Confession of Faith, the reasons for the Lord’s Supper include:  for the spiritual benefit of true believers and their further engagement in and to all duties which they (we ) owe to God…

God is faithful…. As we eat and drink this meal, remembering that Christ offered himself on the cross, may we offer ourselves anew to service, knowing that indeed it is a privilege to be God’s children.  Amen. 

Charge before benediction: Wayward children though we be, we are not orphans!  God is with us!